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128. You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me. 129. We should play strip poker. You can strip and I'll poke you. 130. I'm scared of getting pregnant, so do you want to go up to my room and help me test all my condoms? 131. I'll kiss you in the rain so you get twice as wet. 132. My magical watch says you're not wearing any panties.


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6. I want you to touch me no where but down there. 7. It's all you fault. I am addicted to all what you have to offer me romantically. 8. I am crazy about you, but I am craziest when we do kinky stuff together. 9. Don't you ever leave me wet and lonely.


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14. I'm not a professional photographer, but I can picture us together. 15. If you were a vegetable, you'd be a 'cute-cumber.'. 16. I never believed in love at first sight, but that was before I saw you. 17. You've got a lot of beautiful curves, but your smile is definitely my favorite. 18.


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You can ridicule an idea that someone holds without hurting them. Ricky Gervais. Sex is like money; only too much is enough. John Updike. Software is like sex: it's better when it's free. Linus Torvalds. My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive. Rodney Dangerfield. Sex is emotion in motion.


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Hahaha They're better at it than guys. 4. A naked man broke into a church. The police chased him around and finally caught him by the organ. Hope this means the naked man was near the organ that's used to play Sunday hymns. 5. I asked my wife why she never blinked during foreplay. She said she didn't have time.


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Sex and the City. "The good ones screw you, the bad ones screw you, and the rest don't know how to screw you." -- Samantha Jones (Kim Cattrall) Want more? Head on over to TooFab to LOL at the rest of these hilarious Top 20 Sex Comedy Quotes. 7 Subtle Signs a Marriage Is in Some Serious Trouble.


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Every day, I fall in love with you the same way I did the first time.Can't wait to do it again with you. I love the touch of your lips when we kiss, I love the rub of your hips when we rub, I love the warmth of your breathe on my neck when we hug. You are the only man I could ever want.


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Men just need a place." ~ Billy Crystal. "Desire is in men a hunger, in women only an appetite ." ~ Mignon McLaughlin. "Among men, sex sometimes results in intimacy; among women, intimacy.


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1. Weirdly, I've been taking some anti-impotence medication for my sunburn. It doesn't cure it, but it keeps the sheets off my legs at night. —- 2. What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip-off! —- 3. Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? He only comes once a year. —- 4. Why didn't Barbie ever get pregnant?


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3. "I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food." 4. "People say money is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made." 5.


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3. Communicate something you love about your partner. Sometimes, the best way to confidently sext is to go back to the basics of what you love sexually about your partner. If you love how their skin feels or you enjoy the way they sound in bed, that will help you with things to say while sexting. 4.


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17 Horny Memes For When You Can't Fight The Urge - Funny memes that "GET IT" and want you to too. Get the latest funniest memes and keep up what is going on in the meme-o-sphere.. sex funny memes relationships sexy times funny dating random memes Memes. Next on Memebase. Fifteen Libra Memes For The Autumn Babies. Scroll down for the next.


The doctor asked me if I was sexually active I replied with "I'm not

Wittiest Sex Quotes Ever Sexual humor helps us laugh at our baser instincts. Posted November 2, 2014 | Reviewed by Lybi Ma Key points Sex is often taken much too seriously in some cultures..


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Submissive Kinky Memes. You might, on the other hand, find yourself to be the more submissive partner. This simply means that you typically enjoy enduring the actions of your partner, whatever that might be. This could look like impact play, roleplay, or any number of other options! It often results in a power dynamic, however….


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Seductive Quotes. 1. "To be around someone whose self-confidence is more than what our first glance led us to expect is seductive."-Abraham Verghese, Cutting for Stone. 2. "A fragrance that matches the personality of the man or woman who wears It is an integral part of the memory that you have of him or her.


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You're so hot, my zipper is falling for you. They say that kissing is a language of love, so would you mind starting a conversation with me? I'm on top of things. Would you like to be one of them? Are you an eco-friendly kind of girl? The condom in my pocket goes expires tomorrow, so why don't you help me use it?